Stop the ride, I want off the roller coaster!!!

The title about sums it up. I need to get off of the ride. However, there is NO way to get off the roller coaster of life. You just have to go with the flow and make the best of it.

I am in the midst of grieving a loss that I can not understand. I don't think I will ever understand the will of God in this situation. I can not be strong like others and say "why not me" all I can say is "why me?"

I feel like a cursed woman. To live with infertility for years is hell. To live after miscarriage is hell. To live after miscarriage and have several friends and family members announce that they are expecting is even a greater hell to live through. I know it is not their fault that my body does not work right, but my goodness wait a few days to make your announcements. Its been less than a week since my loss and I am expected to jump up and down and tell you how happy for you I am. Well I CAN NOT do that. Let me move on a little before you flaunt your happiness. Show me a little compassion.

Remember just because I can not be happy with you does not mean I am not happy for you. Give me time and eventually I will be happy with you.

Update on Previous Post

1. We have decided not to pursue the Financial Decision we were considering.

2. We still need prayer concerning our Church Home.

3. Pray for me as I begin to apply for a new job. I am looking for a position as an Assistant Principal, hopefully in the county in which I am currently employed.

4. My "unspoken request." dealt with a health issue. It is unfortunate that God did not answer this request in a way that was more favorable. I am still struggling with the events of the last 8 days. I know in time things will get better but right now I am just having trouble grasping why this situation is happening the way it is happening. Keep me in your prayers as I continue to deal with this situation.

Prayers Needed.

So November is almost half over. We are as busy as ever and are seeking prayer in 4 areas.

1. We are considering making a big Financial Decision. We just need guidance to do what needs to be done. We do not want to make the wrong decision.

2. We need prayer concerning our Church Home. Our church does several things really well. Celebrate Recovery, Music and Childrens Ministry's really are top notch. However, our family needs a Youth Program for Caleb. He needs to be able to interact and share with others his age (not in the school setting). We don't know if we need to change churches or if we just need to continue to be patient. The last youth gathering was in May. Caleb misses having a youth group.

3. Pray for me as I begin to apply for a new job. I am looking for a position as an Assistant Principal, hopefully in the county in which I am currently employed.

4. We have an "unspoken request." I don't feel free to go into details right now, but just pray for us. --- NO we are not getting a divorce, all is good with our relationship.

October- Gone already???

So my last post was in September and today in Nov. 2. Where did the month of October go?

Random Happenings in October:

• Attended the first of several "Leadership Academy Classes." Maybe I will get an AP job this coming year.
• Caleb was assigned the Science Project from the deepest, darkest pits of hell. His teacher is a wack job. I really can not wait for 8th grade science to be over.
• Madilyn has had to go back on breathing treatments. I was hoping to get further along in the year before this happened.
• I got accepted into KSU to work on my Ed.S degree. Classes start in January. Am I really ready for another 2 years of college?
• Trying to remember that God is in control even when it appears he has left the drivers seat.
• Madilyn had a Halloween Party at her day care. She dressed as a circus monkey and was so cute.
• Hoping that November and December do not go by as quickly as October did.

Hang on to your hats, because I am sure November and December will be just as exciting =)