Wilderness at the Smokies- Day 3

We decided to do breakfast again at the Thirsty Miner since it was pretty decent. After breakfast we headed to the water park. I had thought that Caleb may be done with the water but he and Madilyn both were ready for more fun in the water. We had thought about going to Gatlinburg for the day but it was sleeting and cold so we just stayed at the resort, which seemed to be fine with everyone.

We did venture of for dinner at a local Mexican Restaurant. The food was pretty good, but the service was a little slow. Guess everyone was busy because of the holiday.

Caleb was going to attend the New Year Eve Water Park Party but after being there for about 30 minutes he came back to the room. He said, "Someone is going to die in there." Apparently the party was a big success and everyone at the resort decided to attend. At least he had sense enough to come back to the room. So he rang in the New Year by watching "Band of Brothers." David and I showed our age by being in bed by 10:30. Of course sleep did not come easily because the resort passed out noise makers earlier in the day and people kept walking up and down the halls making noise with the darn things.

At mid-night Madilyn woke up screaming because she had been awaken by all of the yelling and people in the halls with noise makers yelling "Happy New Year." It took about 30 minutes to get her back to sleep. Thankfully the noise in the halls died down by about 12:30 and we were all able to get back to sleep.

Day 2 at "Wilderness at the Smokies"

We had a great day today. Because we were all too lazy to get cleaned up and ready to leave the lodge we decided we would just have breakfast at the "Thirsty Miner." After the dinner we had there last night we were not expecting the breakfast to be very good. We were very surprised that the breakfast was good.

After breakfast we went to the water park and enjoyed the morning. Madilyn and Caleb both enjoyed our time spent at the water park. Of course, Madilyn had to take time out for a nap so that she could be pleasant this evening.

This afternoon we went to the outlet mall. We mostly went to the baby outlets to buy Madilyn a few new outfits, but we did make it into Lids and a few other stores.

Our highlight of the day was having dinner with our very dear friends Cheryl and Joe Manis. We have known them for about 18 years and have so much in common. We had dinner at the "Applewood Farmhouse Grill." The food was wonderful, but the company was even better. We enjoyed spending time with Joe and Cheryl and their wonderful children. After dinner we all came back to the lodge to just hang out and spend time together. I really wish we could see them more often.

Got out of dodge

We have had a rough November and December so we decided to get out of dodge and take a spontaneous vacation. We ended up at "Wilderness of the Smokies Lodge" in the Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg area of Tennessee. A friend told us about the lodge and the 60,000 square foot indoor water park that sports a year round temperature of 84 degrees. We thought that it would be a blast for Caleb and a way for David and I to relax some. We were able to book a suite with a living area, kitchen and a very large bedroom. The bedroom itself sleeps 6 and the living area sleeps 4 so there is plenty of space for a large family here.

We checked in around 4 and were at the water park by 4:30. Both Madilyn and Caleb had a blast. The toddler area features a large wading pool, swings, and a small 2 lane slide. Madilyn loved going down the slide and landing in the water. She also enjoyed being in the large wave pool with mommy and daddy- however the waves were a little on the rough side.

Caleb had a blast on the 4 big kid water slides. David and I even took a couple of turns going down the slides. I am sure that Caleb will want to spend all day tomorrow here at the water park and I am good with that.

We had dinner at one of the resort restaurants "The Thirsty Miner." We were not impressed with the food, so we will probably plan on having most of our meals in town.

Today was a great day with the family, hopefully the next couple of days will be just as good.

WHAT NEXT!!!

I am starting to feel like Job. I don't know how much more that I can take. So we lost a baby, then the roof has a leak, a storm took out the gazebo and now...... David's new office space was part of the Great Downtown Canton Fire of 2009. Most of his damage is due to water, but water and electronics are not a good mix. Everything in the building is lost.

Every window in the place is gone, the back wall of the bathroom was torn out so the fire fighters could get to the building next door. We have been working so hard on getting the place ready for a new business launch in a few months. The work at the office space had helped to take my mind off of loosing the baby. The owner is 91, we don't know if he will want to do the necessary repairs or if he will just let it go. Repairs will take months. So now we just have to wait and see what will happen.

Everyone keeps saying "God has a plan." Well I wish God would let me in on the plan.

Christmas Day

Back in September when David and I planned to stay home for the holidays we had no idea we were expecting. When we found out we were going to be having a baby, we thought it's good we planned on staying home for the holidays. With our loss I am so thankful that the plans to stay home were already in place. I don't think I could have done Christmas with extended family this year, especially since several family members are expecting and our loss is so recent.

David, Caleb, Madilyn and I had a great Christmas with just the four of us. It was just a day of peace, quiet and relaxing. The kids enjoyed their gifts and we had a nice Christmas dinner. It was nice to be able to be in our own home for the holiday. While David and I love our extended families sometimes we just need to take a break and focus on just us with no other distractions.

David and I are both sick, but we are making the most out of spending time with the kids.

Christmas Eve.

Overall today was pretty good. I hate that my day can be trucking along and something simple can make me loose it. This afternoon as we left for the Christmas Eve service we checked the mail. There was a card in the mail that was meant to be encouraging and uplifting, but it just hit me the wrong way. All I wanted to do was crawl in bed and cry-- not go to church.

The service was alright. I could not concentrate because I was overcome with grief. It's been a month. When will it get easier? I just hate that I am so weak. People keep telling me how strong I am if they only knew how weak I really am they would be surprised. But as they say "Life must go on."

We let Caleb and Madilyn open 1 gift each tonight. Caleb opened an I-Tunes card, so he and David spent the evening shopping on I-tunes. Madilyn opened up an ABC Caterpillar. She loved it.

If I don't cough a lung out tonight things might be alright. I can not stand being sick, especially during the holidays.

Kids Rooms Painted

Well we were able to get both Caleb's and Madilyn's room painted in 2 days. Now we just need to find time to do the rec room. Maybe shortly after Christmas. I really would like my garage back.

House Stuff

Well we were considering buying a new house but have decided to stay put since we no longer need the extra space. But we are reorganizing to make better use of space and doing some painting. Yesterday, we finished moving David out of the current home office space, and painted the room. Today we will be moving Caleb into that room.

Yesterday we also spent sometime getting Madilyn's room ready to paint. Her walls are a horrible mess. One of our former foster kids put a lot of nail holes in the walls, and somehow got them really dirty. Madilyn's arrival was so unexpected that we did not have time to paint the room. Well 18 months later we are finally getting around to it.

Caleb's former room will be painted and become a playroom with video games, air hockey and other family fun stuff. YIPPEE--- we will get our garage back. Our currently play area is in the garage and is not usable during summer and winter. I hate parking in the driveway, especially on rainy days and freezing cold days.

In Spring we plan to paint the downstairs.

Doing Better

I am doing a little better, but still not back to 100%. Guess it will take a while. School is out for two weeks. I am just hoping that I can fill my time so that I do not have time to dwell on life in general.

I am planning on working at David's new office space to help him get it painted and ready for his new business launch in a few months. I just have to be careful not to over do it.

Those that pray continue to pray, it has been and will continue to be a long road.

Another bad day

I had another bad day today. I just don't understand how people in my extended family can show more compassion to a person who is on TV than to their own family members. Several members of the family have not once said, "we are sorry," or "I'm praying for you," however, they post in public places that they are praying for someone from a television show. This baffles me, here I am in pain and they have continued to ignore the pain and have continued to not even acknowledge our loss.

A few family members have sent well wishes and cards and just knowing that they care and grieve with us has helped. It is the inconsiderate members of the family that make me wonder what I have ever done to deserve no concern from them during this time.

I just really do not think that many people realize that the loss of a child prior to birth is very hard. I lost a baby that I loved, not a glob of tissue. While the baby was not born, it was still a baby that was loved very much and had a soul. Just because I never held the baby in my arms does not make the loss any easier. I will never forget having to sign the paper at the hospital disposing of the baby. It said, "Mother's name Donna J. Lloyd, and "Babies Name = Unnamed Baby Lloyd."

I am fighting to stay sane. I am fighting to continue to be a good mom. I am trying to overcome these emotions. It is just hard.

Christmas Letters BITE

So today I sat down to work on our Christmas Cards and our annual Christmas letter. After struggling for a while I decided that Christmas letters bite. People don't want to read about the pain we are in, they don't want to read my rambling and bragging about my kids. I pride myself on being an honest person. So in my efforts to not make Christmas sad for others, I decided to put away the fancy paper I bought and just sent cards with our names signed at the bottom.

Here's the update:

• Madilyn's Adoption became final
• I completed my Master's Degree
• Caleb is doing well in school
• David is doing well in work
• We are mourning the loss of our unborn child

Hope you have a Merry Christmas. Yes, we have a lot to be grateful for, but we also have a lot to be sad about and mourn.

Date Night

Its been a while since David and I have been able to go out on a date due to no sitter, illness and just being busy. Our sitter has gone back to school and we have not been able to find a new person to watch Madilyn. In addition to this I have not felt well since September. After having a great weekend with the kids I decided that we needed to have a night with just the two of us. We needed to just stop with our busy life, and make time to have a little time to ourselves.

I talked to a few teachers and found a sitter, so I picked a date and asked David to clear his schedule. A few weeks ago I won a gift certificate to Bokita's. We decided that we would try it out. The place was wonderful. We had great service, food and wine. It was great to have dinner with just the two of us.

I love that my husband supports me and understands my pain. My problem has been that in this whole thing I have not truly stopped long enough to understand that he is in just as much pain as I am in. I feel so guilty for not seeing this and not being there for him. I will get better, emotionally it will just take time.

Those of you who read this please continue to pray for us. Pray that our marriage will stay strong, and that we will both heal emotionally.

Tennessee Aquarium

We spent last night in downtown Chattanooga and then hit up the Tennessee Aquarium this morning. We had a great time. There were very few visitors to the aquarium. We were able to let Madilyn out of her stroller, so she was able to walk around and look at the stuff she wanted to look at. She loved the penguins and otters she was so excited watching them. She was so cute to watch. We all enjoyed the day.

It was nice to have a few good days in a row.

Rock City

We have been wanting to go to Rock City for a few weeks, and we finally decided to go today. I woke up feeling horrible with crud coming out of my eyes and coughing. I went to the walk in clinic and got some meds, and then we were on our way.

The goal was to visit the Garden of Enchanted Lights and get a photo for our Christmas card. That plan did not work out. Madilyn was a little grouchy and did not want to smile and pose for the photo. A second goal of the trip was to get a picture of Madilyn with Santa. That went over like a lead balloon. She pitched a fit and wanted nothing to do with jolly old Saint.

Even though we did not get the photos I wanted, we still had a good time at Rock City.

Alone

I feel so alone.... No one really understands how I feel and what I am going through. Its like I am suppose to just get happy and move on with life. No time for sorrow and sadness in this busy world. I just wish the pain and hurt would go away. I am trying to move on with life but find that to be such a difficult task.

Stop the ride, I want off the roller coaster!!!

The title about sums it up. I need to get off of the ride. However, there is NO way to get off the roller coaster of life. You just have to go with the flow and make the best of it.

I am in the midst of grieving a loss that I can not understand. I don't think I will ever understand the will of God in this situation. I can not be strong like others and say "why not me" all I can say is "why me?"

I feel like a cursed woman. To live with infertility for years is hell. To live after miscarriage is hell. To live after miscarriage and have several friends and family members announce that they are expecting is even a greater hell to live through. I know it is not their fault that my body does not work right, but my goodness wait a few days to make your announcements. Its been less than a week since my loss and I am expected to jump up and down and tell you how happy for you I am. Well I CAN NOT do that. Let me move on a little before you flaunt your happiness. Show me a little compassion.

Remember just because I can not be happy with you does not mean I am not happy for you. Give me time and eventually I will be happy with you.

Update on Previous Post

1. We have decided not to pursue the Financial Decision we were considering.

2. We still need prayer concerning our Church Home.

3. Pray for me as I begin to apply for a new job. I am looking for a position as an Assistant Principal, hopefully in the county in which I am currently employed.

4. My "unspoken request." dealt with a health issue. It is unfortunate that God did not answer this request in a way that was more favorable. I am still struggling with the events of the last 8 days. I know in time things will get better but right now I am just having trouble grasping why this situation is happening the way it is happening. Keep me in your prayers as I continue to deal with this situation.

Prayers Needed.

So November is almost half over. We are as busy as ever and are seeking prayer in 4 areas.

1. We are considering making a big Financial Decision. We just need guidance to do what needs to be done. We do not want to make the wrong decision.

2. We need prayer concerning our Church Home. Our church does several things really well. Celebrate Recovery, Music and Childrens Ministry's really are top notch. However, our family needs a Youth Program for Caleb. He needs to be able to interact and share with others his age (not in the school setting). We don't know if we need to change churches or if we just need to continue to be patient. The last youth gathering was in May. Caleb misses having a youth group.

3. Pray for me as I begin to apply for a new job. I am looking for a position as an Assistant Principal, hopefully in the county in which I am currently employed.

4. We have an "unspoken request." I don't feel free to go into details right now, but just pray for us. --- NO we are not getting a divorce, all is good with our relationship.

October- Gone already???

So my last post was in September and today in Nov. 2. Where did the month of October go?

Random Happenings in October:

• Attended the first of several "Leadership Academy Classes." Maybe I will get an AP job this coming year.
• Caleb was assigned the Science Project from the deepest, darkest pits of hell. His teacher is a wack job. I really can not wait for 8th grade science to be over.
• Madilyn has had to go back on breathing treatments. I was hoping to get further along in the year before this happened.
• I got accepted into KSU to work on my Ed.S degree. Classes start in January. Am I really ready for another 2 years of college?
• Trying to remember that God is in control even when it appears he has left the drivers seat.
• Madilyn had a Halloween Party at her day care. She dressed as a circus monkey and was so cute.
• Hoping that November and December do not go by as quickly as October did.

Hang on to your hats, because I am sure November and December will be just as exciting =)

Fall Break (Gran's Cooking School)

The highlight of the week was Gran's Cooking School. This experience was so good , that it CAN NOT be lumped in with the other events of the day.

We love spending time with gran. Not only because we always get a good meal at her house, but because she is a dear lady who has a wonderful sense of humor. She is one of my favorite people to be around. She really means alot to not only David but also to me.

Cousin Sherry wanted to learn how to make Fish Cakes and Fried Corn Bread. Once we heard that Gran was going to give a cooking lesson we wanted in on the fun. We had a great time learning how to make the family favorite- fried corn bread. Don't ask because I won't tell, it is a secret recipe. The tips Gran and the others gave were great. Maybe one day I will become an expert with making these two dishes, but I doubt mine will ever be as good as Grans.

Somehow we got the wild idea to do "Corn Bread Fish Patties." So we took a lump of the fish patty mix and pressed it together with the corn bread mix and fried it up. It was wonderful. Everyone really liked the end result.

Madilyn had some corn bread and loved it, so I guess I needed to learn how to make it. I will have to try to make some soon.

It was a great day, and we all left stuffed. This is a day I will remember for years to come.

Fall Break (Saturday- Kennedy Space Center)

We have always wanted to visit the Kennedy Space Center but have never had the time. We decided that now was a good time to make time for a visit to the space center. Caleb has always loved space and we thought that this would be a good side trip that he would enjoy. We left our hotel around 8 in the morning and headed to the space center.

We decided to participate in the "Up Close and Personel Tour." This tour was about 2.5 hours in length, and took us all over the compound. We had several stops along the way in which we were permitted to get off of the bus in order to get a better view. These stops were a life savor to us, because while Madilyn was pretty good on the tour she did get a little restless and these stops permitted her to get down and run and explore on her own.

We only got to see about 1/2 of what the Kennedy Space Center has to offer. We plan on returning again, so that we can see everything that we did not have time to see on this trip. Caleb really enjoyed the tour. I am glad that we finally made time for this.

Fall Break (Friday- Day 7)

Today was our last full day in FL. We spent the moring at the pool. We then went and had lunch with Gran, Poppa Judah and many others. We spent some time at Diane and Aubrey's prior to going to Jermey and Jan's for a family dinner and a party for Diane's birthday.

It was a long but fun day.

Fall Break (Thursday- Day 6)

Today we visited the Sebastian Inlet and Fishing Museum. This museum has artifacts from David's family on display. It was interesting to see family history on display. We had planned on swimming in the inlet but changed plans when we arrived. The inlet was full of 3 bus loads of happy elementary students who were enjoying a field trip. So instead we spent time at the pool, had dinner at Diane and Aubrey's and returned to the hotel a little early in the evening because Madilyn was teething and wanted to go to bed. One of the best things about having a 13 year old and a toddler at the same time is that the teenager can babysit the toddler so the mom and dad can have a few minutes alone.

Madilyn was asleep by 8:00. David and I decided to take a walk and find a nice quiet place to get a cool drink. We found The Green Cabin Room on the resort site. We sat on the porch and enjoyed each others company, shrimp cocktail and a cool drink. We could not see the sunset but it was nice to feel the ocean breeze, and see all of the stars in the sky.

Fall Break (Wednesday- day 5)

Enjoyed another lazy day in Florida. I love having a fall break. We ate breakfast at Shutters again. We all tried something different. We learned that the flooding in GA was pretty bad. However, we have learned that our town has not been hit hard. That was a bit of good news.

We spent the day being lazy. Madilyn really loves the water and Caleb enjoyed the pool slide. The beach was basically not an option due to the harshness of the tide. It was too dangerous to take Madilyn on the beach when the waters were so rough.

Caleb went to church with Jeremy and Jan, while David and I took advantage of having a "date night." We had heard the Ocean Grill restaurant was a great place to eat. It was wonderful. The view was awesome, and the food was mouth watering. It was nice to spend time alone with David without worrying about the kids or anything else. We do not get very many date nights, so it was great to have one while we were on vacation.

While we were at dinner a storm came through. It was a sight to see the waves get rough, and the clouds rolling in over the water, really beautiful to watch. It moved through quickly, which was good because as much as I liked watching it, I did not want to get soaking wet going back to the car.

Fall Break (Tuesday- Day 4)

Today David, Madilyn and I walked to the beach to watch the sunrise. It was cloudy but still a great site to see. I have always loved watching the sunset and sun rise on the beach. Later we went to breakfast at Shutters. This resturant is at the resort and had a wonderful ocean view. The food was pretty good.

After breakfast we decided to take a trip to the pool and spend the morning relaxing. Madilyn once agian enjoyed playing in the water. She thinks she can swim and wanted out of her float. Caleb enjoyed the waterslide. We all enjoyed that the pool was not crowded and that it was well maintained.

Later we went to Jeremy and Jan's house for dinner and to spend time with family. We had a good visit. Madilyn loved playing with her cousins Victoria and Preston.

Fall Break (Monday- day 3)

We woke to find a beautiful day awaiting us. We ate breakfast and headed down to the beach. Madilyn did not like the beach very much. It was high tide and the waters were rough. She did play in the sand with her bucket and sholvel. We cut our beach trip short and headed to the pool. Madilyn did much better in the pool and loved playing in the water.

After pool time we cleaned up and headed over to spend some time with the grandparents.

Fall Break (Sunday- Day 2)

We got up early and had breakfast at Cracker Barrell prior to hitting the road for another long day of driving.

We arrived in Sebastain around noon. We first stopped in to visit with Gran and Pappa Judah prior to going to David's parents house. We had a nice visit with them. We then went to Diane and Aubrey's for a family lunch. Geremy and Jan also came over. It was very nice to see everyone.

We left around 4:00 to go and check into the hotel. We stayed at the Disney Vero Beach Resort. It was a very comfortable resort. We decided on a 2 bedroom villa, so that we could have space. The villia also had a living room and kitchen area.

We had, had a long day so we decided to stay in for dinner and had room service delivered to our room. The food did not disappoint. We had a nice quiet night with just the four of us.

Fall Break (Day 1)

We spent the morning getting ready for our family beach resort vacation. We left home around noon and arrived in Savannah, GA around 5:30. We decided to have dinner at The Crab Shack. We had eaten there while on Spring Break and loved it so we decided that while we were in the area we would enjoy the place once again. We were not disappointed. The food and atmosphere were just as we remembered. Caleb really loved the seafood platter that we ordered.

The day was long with the drive but the night was very enjoyable.

Leadership Academy 1

A few weeks ago my school Principal rec commended for admittance into the Cherokee County 2009-2010 Superintendent's Leadership Academy 1. I have received notification of acceptance into the academy today. This academy is sponsored by the school board and is used as a "growing" ground for the future leaders of Cherokee County Schools. The school board will usually hire people from this academy for leadership positions throughout the county. This will be a great venue for me to be seen and possibly may lead to my receiving a job as an AP.

One of the best aspects of this program is that it is during the regular school day. My participation in the program will not cut into my family time or conflict with my going to KSU in the spring.

Back to school (Maybe)

I decided that I want to go back to school. Yes I am that crazy, 6 years of college has not been enough. I have applied to KSU to work on my Specialist in Education Degree (Ed.S). This degree is NOT required in order to become an Assistant Principal or Principal but is recommended. I researched several programs and decided on KSU. Other schools had the program, but some of them are coming into question about the quality of the degree and some counties are not wanting to issue pay raises upon completion.

I had to take the GRE to apply to KSU. It was rushed since the deadline for the application was September 1. I had no time to prepare for the exam. I did alright, but not as well as I would have liked. The test had a lot of math on it. And face it anyone who knows me know that I am not good at math. I actually only graduated college the first time because I met a cute blond hair, blue eyed boy who was a math major, and he helped me out and he has been helping me with math and life since then.

I will not know if I have been accepted into the program until late October or early November. So we will just have to wait and see if I am going back to school, again.

September Updates

I thought August was busy. September has been even busier.

• David spent the first week of September in business meetings with his client from London and his contracts from Michigan. So he stayed in a small town outside of Detroit for about a week.
• I spent the first week of September miserable and sick as a dog. Of course I was sick when David was out of town, so it made things seem much worse than they actually were.
• Labor Day was a nice quiet event at our house. David grilled some ribs (which were yummy) and we just watched movies all day.
• Caleb has had several Scouting Events, including Water Mania and the Great Allatoona Lake Clean Up. Both of these events started with a Friday night camp out. During Water Mania Caleb was able to participate in a variety of water sports. He had a great time. The Great Allatoona Lake Clean Up, was all work. Scouts from all over the area gathered and picked up about 24 tons of trash from the lake shore line. Caleb has participated in this community service event for the past several years.
• I have had to attend 2 Open Houses and 2 different schools and have been working like a mad woman to get all of my student records entered into the state C-Net Data Base. This is a very time consuming task. The website is not very user friendly, but I am required to use it to record the activities of all of my Work Study students.
• This coming weekend we leave for our Fall Vacation. We are looking forward to having some down time.
• Our church is still looking and praying for a Senior Pastor. We have had a variety of guest speakers since June. It will be good to have a full time pastor again. We are just praying for the right one to come along.

Maybe this time I will keep this blog up to date.

Busy, Busy, Busy (August)

My last post was in August just prior to the school year starting. Since then we have been going almost non-stop.

Here are a few highlights from the month of August

• August 3, was the first day of school. Caleb started public school this year. He is at Creekland Middle school and is adjusting well. He is currently in all Advanced classes. I wonder who he gets his smarts from me or David. It must be a combination of both since David and I both have our strengths and weaknesses.
• I am still at two schools this year. Creekview High School and Sequoyah High School. It is hard but keeps me pretty busy. I am hoping to get enrollment up high enough that next year they will have to hire another Career Pathways Facilitator.
• Caleb has earned the rank of Star Scout and is now working on his Life Rank.
• Madilyn is a joy. She is into everything, but I would not change that for the world. She is always so happy and I love to hear her laugh.
• David took a much need vacation, or should I say "staycation". He was off work, but Caleb was in school. David used this time to work on a few of his own projects and try to unwind prior to having to take a week long trip to Detroit.
• David picked up a new hobby-- Beer Brewing. He went to a brewing event with a friend and then decided that he would like to try it. His first batch will be ready in September.
• For the first time since Caleb has been in school he and I have the same schedule. We are looking forward to Fall Break. We will be going to Vero Beach to see family. However, we will be staying at the Vero Beach Disney Resort. So we will be spending time at the beach and pool as well as spending time with family.

Red Tape

So it took about 3 months to get all of the paperwork necessary for me to apply for my pay raise for my new degree. Well today I received notification from the State Professional Standards Commission that the paperwork I submitted was not correctly done. The problem is that the transcripts that were provided to me by KSU did not have a graduation date printed on the transcript. So I had to call KSU and try to figure out how to get a correctly formatted transcript so that I can get my new upgraded teaching certificate.

I am also disappointed because my $6500 pay raise for earning my new degree is slowly being chipped away. I lost about $3000 of it when my contract was changed from a 200 day to a 190 day contract. Now this week with the 3 day furlough I am loosing about $1000 more. At least at this point my pay will not be lower than what it was last year, but if they cut much more it will be.

This economy has to improve soon.

A few Extra Days of Summer

Due to the budget crisis in the state of Georgia, I have been given 2 extra days of summer and will also have election day off in November. I was suppose to return to work on Monday, and now that return date has been pushed back to Wednesday. While I will enjoy the extra few days of summer I will not enjoy yet another pay cut. I also do not like that I will not have time to get everything ready to go for my students come next Monday, but there is really nothing that I can do about the situation.

Where did summer go???

Today is my last official Friday of summer. Monday I have to start back to work by attending the annual GACTE conference. Unfortunately this year I am going to this conference on my own time and not being paid to go. Last year the dates of the conference were tied to my school contract dates which was nice. However, this year since my contact days have been cut, this conference is cutting into my summer and I am not happy about that. The kicker is that we also no longer earn Professional Development Units for attending this conference. So I wonder what is the point of attending is other than going to small group sessions that may or may not be related to what I need to know for my job.

I finally got all of the documents necessary to apply for my upgraded teaching certificate and pay grade increase. When I dropped off the paperwork I was informed that the pay increase was retroactive to May 13 which was when I graduated. So that is nice I will have a little extra in my August check.

I just can not believe that summer is over already.

Quick Trip to IN

Caleb went to Indiana with his grandparents and cousin on Tuesday, July 7. So on Thursday afternoon David, Madilyn and I headed to IN to pick Caleb up so that he could leave for Scout Camp on Sunday (today).

Madilyn did really well on the trip to IN. She was in her new "big girl" car seat and acted like she was all grown up. Shortly before reaching our hotel we had a message that they had upgraded our room to a Full Suite. When we got to the hotel I could not believe the room. It was larger than the first apartment that David and I had together. We were all tired and slept really well. Madilyn actually slept until 8:00 am. That in itself was a miracle.

We spent Friday at Tim's house visiting with his family and David's parents. Stephen and his wife, Tasha stopped by for a little while. Stephen and his family are in the process of moving to the property that is owned by David's parents. Tim already lives on the property.

Tim got a cake for Diane and Aubrey's wedding anniversary which was on Friday.

Saturday around 10:00 we head back to Canton. Our trip took a little longer than expected. There was lots of traffic and several construction zones that slowed us down. We arrived home around 6 pm. Caleb had to finish packing for scouts. By the time we went to bed everyone was exhausted.

We attended the 8:30 service at church today and then came home to get Caleb ready to go to camp. It was strange to attend service and not stay to serve in Planet Shakers. Right now Madilyn is napping and David is taking Caleb to the meeting place for camp. The house is quiet and I am enjoying a few minutes of down time.

Bad Week

So I had a really bad week. First off my birthday was on Tuesday and only 1 extended family member even bothered to wish me a Happy Birthday. I knew some of them were mad at me because of some events that occurred while we were on vacation last week but I did not realize that they were all still mad to the point of being so cruel as to not even text or email birthday wishes.

On Tuesday also broke a bottle of David's cologne when I was unpacking our bags. The house smelled for days and was over whelming. On Wednesday, I dropped my coffee cup and the lid to Madilyns sippy cup came off so we had a big mess in the living room. Then on Saturday I broke an expensive crystal decanter. I did not think that things could get any worse.

But then they did....

On Sunday July 5, on the way home from church I hydroplaned while driving David's truck. Thankfully no one was hurt and Madilyn was already safely at home with David but the back end of the truck is a mess. We got the estimates on damages, and I am just thankful that we have insurance. Our out of pocket will be $500 but the estimated cost of repairs are $6300 and will take about 12 working days to complete.

Here's hoping that the coming days will much better.

July 01, 2009-One Year ago today

Last year at this time we were arriving in Iowa and contacting the adoption agency, shopping for baby stuff like crazy and playing a waiting game. One year ago today we were on pins and needles wondering if we would actually leave Iowa with a newborn baby girl or if our trip had been made in vain. One year ago today I walked around in a fog happy and both scared at the same time. One year ago today we met our wonderful, happy baby girl at 11:45 pm in a hotel lobby.

Time has gone by very quickly and I feel so blessed to be the mom to 2 great kids. Both of who joined our family in a "non" traditional way. Caleb (13) joined us after several stressful years of fertility treatments. Just when we gave up on having a child God blessed us with a wonderful healthy son. Then 12 years later just when we gave up on ever adopting a child God blessed us with our wonderful daughter Madilyn (1).

I don't know why forming our family has been so hard, but we made it through both the struggles of infertility and adoption. I know we lived through these struggles for a reason, I just am not sure of the reason. I truly feel blessed to have the children and husband that I have.

Vacation Recap- June 27, 2008 (kid free)

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids but everyone needs a break from their kids every once in a while.

Day 3 of our kid free vacation was AWESOME. We started the day with a light breakfast on deck over looking the ocean. We spent the morning at the beach. The water was not very appealing today due to the over abundance of algae floating around. However, the temperature and breeze were perfect. We spent time lounging on the beach listening to our I-Pods and reading books.

We spent the afternoon at Serenity Day Spa which is located at the Sandestin Hotel. We had a wonderful relaxing experience getting a couples massage. I have never had a massage before now I can't wait for my next one.

For dinner we ordered up room service and had a quiet meal in our room, and then sat on the balcony reading for a while. It was a great last night for our trip.

Vacation Recap June 26th (Kid Free!!!)

Day 2 of our kid free vacation.

We started the day with breakfast at Sandcastle's. The food was pretty good. Sandcastles is one of several restaurants located on the premises of the resort. We had made to order Belgium waffles.

We decided that we would be lazy and rest on this vacation so we arranged for beach setup which included 2 lounge chairs and a beach umbrella set up near the shore line. It was a perfect day for relaxing at the beach. The temperature was around 95 but there was a constant breeze that helped to keep it cool.

We decided on sushi for dinner at Hadashi. It was great. Dinner was late due to a 3:00 lunch, so the restaurant was very quiet with only a few other diners.

Over all day 2 of our kid free vacation was awesome. The weather was perfect, the food was great and it was wonderful to be able to just focus on David and me.

Vacation Recap June 25th (Kid Free!!!)

Caleb turned 13. We celebrated yesterday with family so today was a scaled back day for him. We took him to breakfast with my parents and my grandparents.

Around 11am David and I left for a kid free vacation. The kids stayed with my parents. It has been 2 years since our last vacation with just the two of us, so it was long over due. We decided to go to the Hilton in Sandestin. We got a great room called the King Ambassador Parlor Suite, it is basically 2 rooms a living area and a bedroom. The view from the room is awesome. The room has lots of windows with a wonderful view of the Gulf of Mexico.

We arrived in Sandestin too early to check in so we hit the outlet mall. We did not buy much but just walked around looking at stuff. We were able to check in around 4:00. We decided on Ruth Chris Steak House for dinner. Neither of us had ever had the pleasure of dining there. The food and atmosphere was wonderful. It was a nice romantic dinner. After dinner we took a walk on the beach. I wish I could say it was wonderful, but I can't. It was hot and sticky even after the sun went down. However, it was nice to just be with David without the distraction of the kids.

Day 1 of our kid free vacation was pretty great.

Vacation Recap- June 24, 2008

WOW- Madilyn turned 1 . I can not believe that she has been part of our life for almost a year. A year ago today she was born and I had no idea that my life would be forever changed. It is kind of strange to have a child and not know anything about their

birth or first week of life. I wish that I could have been there when she was born and that I could have known her from her first moments in life. However, I am thankful that she is now a part of our family.

Our morning was spent getting ready for Madi's 1st birthday party. Caleb's b-day is on the 25th of June so we celebrated the birthdays together with a family BBQ.

The party was fun but lasted way too long. My family did not leave until around 11:00 pm. We were all very tired and ready for the day to end. Madilyn and Caleb were both spoiled by all of our family members.

The day was also the first time in about 11 years that ALL of my sister were together. The last time all six of us were together was when Caleb was around 2 years old. We all came together for the funeral of Grandma Matthews. We tried to get a picture of all of us together, with 4 cameras and about 100 shots, only one turned out decent.

Vacation Recap- June 23, 2008

We spent the day traveling to Milton, FL to the home of my parents. The trip was uneventful. We arrived in Florida around 2:00 and spent the afternoon visiting with my parents, grandmother and sister who is also visiting from Texas.

Taking a Financial Hit and having faith

David and I have been rolling along through life not being touched by the financial crisis of our nation. For us, life has gone on as normal and we have not felt the financial pressure that others have been feeling.

Well now it is our turn to take a financial hit. David of course is not at all worried about this, he never worries and has faith like a rock unlike me. I am the one who always worries and questions God. There you have it I am the weak one in this family.

Just before school got out I was called to the office, where I was met by my county supervisor. I was told that I would be taking on 2 schools for the next school year. So basically I have to continue to do the job of 2 people for the pay of 1 person. I asked about duties being cut since I would be at 2 schools and she said that all of the duties outlined in the job description must be performed at both schools. The supervisor then told me that my contract was being reduced by 10 days. A 10 day reduction in my contract means around a $3000.00 pay cut for the year. Hopefully this will be offset by my new pay rate that I will get for completing my Masters degree. But I am still waiting to see how much my pay will be affected by that accomplishment.

Yesterday David was contacted by his client. His contract is up for renewal. He was told that he would need to agree to a 10% cut. Basically with this short of notice he has not choice but to accept the contract. His current contract ends the last day of June, so he has no time to look for new clients or new contracts. So he has to accept the new reduced rate contract. The contract is only for 6 months, so he will be spending that time looking for new contracts.

I am praying that this will be an opportunity for David to branch out on his own a little more and not have his business dependant on 1 company. Several smaller contracts would be better for him financially and professionally.

I know that God will provide but sometimes I do not have faith like I should. We had a financial plan and we were working the plan. Now the plan has to change. Of course we were taking by surprise by this turn of events but God was not. Pray that we will see his plan in his time and act accordingly and pray that I will not stress and that I will continue to have faith, even when it seems that God is not working in this situation.

My how time flies

Last year at this time I was getting ready to start a new job, David was getting ready to go to London for 2 weeks and we had totally given up on the hopes of adopting a child. It has been just over a year since I posted the following:

June 2008: We both feel that if this was really meant to be we would not still be at step one. We have had all that we can take emotionally and need to move on with our lives. We have been stuck in "baby wish land" for far too long and need to figure out what the real plan for our life is.

When I wrote that post I had no idea what God had in mind for us. I just remember feeling so crushed that our efforts to expand our family had failed.

As I reflect on what has happened in our lives during this past year and what has happened in the lives of our family and friends I am reminded that God's plan and timing is always perfect. We may not understand his plan, but we don't need to we just need to trust in him and know that we are never alone if we trust in him.

Upcoming Vacation

Next week we are leaving for a short family vacation and a short kid free vacation. On Tuesday we will travel to Milton FL. to spend a few days with my family. It should be interesting since all of my sisters (ALL 5) will be in town. The last time we were all together was 12 years ago at my grandmothers funeral. My older sister and my mother do not get along well so things are usually tense when they are together. My older sister also leads a life-style that most of the family does not approve of, that alone makes our gatherings interesting. My youngest sister Mary will be bring her fiance Fred to meet everyone. Hopefully he is a good guy and not a looser like her ex.

Wednesday we will be having a birthday BBQ for Madilyn and Caleb at one of the local parks. Wednesday is Maddie's 1st B-day, and Caleb's 13th is on Thursday. We do not plan to have celebrations together every year but this seemed to make sense this year since we will be out of town and it will be hard to get the entire family together again the next day.

Thursday morning we are taking Caleb out to breakfast with just his grandparents. Hopefully this will help to make is day a little special.

Thursday afternoon, David and I will leave to spend a few days kid free. It has been 2 years since we have had a kid free vacation. We had one planned for last summer but those plans changed into this years Spring Break trip to Tybee Island when Madilyn made her unexpected arrival just days before we were to take the trip. The kids will get to stay with grandma, grandpa and great grandmother and have extra time with aunts, uncles and cousins while David and I have time to refresh and relax.

We are going to SanDestin Beach for 3 nights. We got the "Sun, Sand and Surf" package that includes

• Beachview suite accommodations

• Daily beach set-up, with umbrella and two chairs

• Two refreshing cocktails daily

• Panama Jack sunscreen, with your choice of SPF

• Two Hilton Sandestin visors

Here is a link to the hotel that we will be staying at: http://www.sandestinbeachhilton.com/

I am so ready for this vacation but it is still a week away.

Home Organization

We have been on Summer vacation for just over a week. Caleb is already getting lazy. I am trying to get things done that I have put off forever. The big jobs that need to be done is cleaning out the closets, setting up our food storage area, cleaning the office and updating Caleb's Room.

• Closets: Why can I just not make myself take care of these? Every time I open one I am scared of what I may find or what may fall out and hit me in the head.
  
• Food Storage Area: We went to IKEA and found some shelving that we are going to use in the garage storage closet for storing extra food. Now that I have gotten the hang of coupon shopping we have extra food that will not fit in our pantry. This is good for two reasons: 1) I always have the basics on hand and don't run out of things we use all the time. 2) if I just don't feel like shopping I don't have to because we are never out of groceries. David got the shelves built, now I just need to move stuff from the overstuffed pantry into the new storage area. Hopefully this will help with the over crowding issue we are having in some of our cabinets in the kitchen.
  
• Office: This has been a mess for over a year. I hardly go in the office anymore because I can not stand how it looks or feels. We went to IKEA to find storage solutions for the office but ended up getting stuff for Caleb's room with the idea of moving some of his old stuff into the office. We made a huge dent in the office. We still have some organizational work to do, but we can now see the floor, and my work area. David is still working on getting his work area cleaned up.
• Caleb's Room: While at IKEA we found some great pieces for Caleb's room. We got him a nice shelving unit a new desk and a new chair. The new desk is much wider then the old one which will provide him with more working surface. The new bookshelf is larger than the ones he had and is nicer. We took several of his old cheap shelves out of his room and placed them in the office closet to help with office organization. Caleb's room has never been really nice when it comes to furniture. It has just been a hodgepodge of stuff. We plan on going back to IKEA to pick up a new TV stand and additional shelves next month. We would like for him to have a nice room for his teen years. Caleb seems to like the new desk and shelves. He was told to clean his room and get rid of stuff he does not use anymore. I really thought that I would have to follow behind him, but he did really good and got rid of 6 huge bags of toys, and clothing that he does not use any more. Now if we can just keep him from getting the room all cluttered up again things will be good.

I hate the initial process of cleaning and organizing but once it is done I feel so much better, and the areas look so much better.

Still Here

The Lloyd's have not fallen off the face of the earth. Things have been SO busy here. Our recent happenings are listed below for your reading pleasure.

• Caleb got braces
• Madilyn went to see and ear, ear, nose specialist and she will be getting tubes in July.
• Caleb finished the 7th grade.
• I finished my 1st year teaching at Creekview High School.
• Creekview High School held its first ever graduation. You can not get anymore red neck than that wonderful display. I could not believe all of the hooting and hollering. You would think that these kids are never going to accomplish anything more in life. Graduation is a formal ceremony not a backyard picnic.
• Cherokee County cut my contact by 10 days, thus cutting my pay by about $2000.
• My new degree earns me a pay raise which is good since the county just cut my pay.
• Madilyn is now working on teeth number 3, 4, and 5 all at the same time. #1 and 2 have been in for a while.
  
• David is still working for himself with the same clients. Had to fire a contractor but life goes on.
  
• Have planned a KID FREE vacation for the end of June. We are going to stay at the Hilton on San Destin Beach. Kids are staying with grandma and grandpa.
• Madi will be 1 on June 24 (also Aunt Katie's B-Day)
• Caleb will be 13 on June 25.
  

As you can see not much has been going on. I am looking forward to a nice relaxing summer of not doing much. School starts back WAY to soon in my opinion.

How to get a teen to leave the room : )

My days are so busy and filled with work, home and my two kids. I often time have very little time to spend with my husband before I go to bed exhausted.

Madilyn was out like a light at 8:30 and tucked into her bed soon after. Caleb was being a lounge lizard laying on the couch. Well I finally found a way to get him to go to bed early. Every parent reading this will want to read on....

I turned off the television, and turned on the Bose music system. I turned it to my setting that has only love ballads. The artist include the Platters, Chicago, Boston and other groups from the 60- present. It took only one song and then the start of the second song for him to tell us goodnight. I asked why he was going to bed and he said he did not want to listen to "The Platters" sing Only you.

So next time I need time with David the Bose will be coming on. Hopefully it works again.

M. Ed.

Those 3 letters and 2 periods are now what come after my name in my official work correspondence. I did a ton of work to earn the right to add those 3 little letters and those 2 periods to the end of my name.

The past 2 years of my life have been CRAZY. Two years ago when I started the Masters program at KSU life was slow and easy. The first year went pretty smooth. However, around March of last year I decided I could no longer stay at my current work place. Along with going to school I set out to find a new job closer to home. I was blessed with the wonderful job as a Career Pathways Facilitator with the Cherokee County School System. My thought was that I had a year of grad school under my belt and I could handle a new job with very few issues.

I was suppose to attend summer school but was unable to do so due to having to be in training for my new job. Well it was not a problem because I could take the missed classes during the fall and spring and still graduate on time. So the plan would be that I would go to class on Thursday's and Saturday's. David and Caleb were already used to me being gone on Thursdays, and it would not be too hard for them to adjust to me being gone on Saturday's.

But then we got the call about Madilyn. I spent July with her and then it hit me in August. I have a new baby, a new job and have to go to graduate school 2 days a week. I did not think that I could handle all of these life changes at one time.

Thankfully I did not have to do it by myself. David made sure that he was always home on the days that I had to go to class. My KSU schedule made for long days for both of us. When I needed to study or work on a project David was always there to entertain Madilyn so that I could finish what needed to be finished. Without his love, support and understanding I would not have been able to complete my graduate school work on time, and I would not be able to add those 3 little letters and 2 periods after my name.

Donna J. Lloyd- M.Ed.

I am her MOTHER!

Several times last week people asked me if I was going to send Madilyn's bmom a Mother's Day card. My thought was what??? I am her mother. Just because you get pregnant, and have a baby does NOT make you a mother. If anything it makes you a breeder. A mother is the person who loves the child and cares for the child and nurtures the child. A mother puts her child first and does not knowingly put the child in harms way. A mother would do anything for her child.

Yes, she carried Madilyn for 9 months. But during that time she abused her. She abused her by smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day, with no concern to how it would affect her in the long term. During that time stayed with a man who hit her and kicked her in the stomach. During that time she did not seek proper medical care for herself or Madilyn. These are the things we know that she did, there is no telling what other abuses were not reported to the adoption agency. Yes, she carried her but she did not nurture and care for her. She was not acting like a mother during this time. She was selfish and cared for no one except for herself. She does not deserve to be called "Mother."

So NO I did not send her a Mother's Day card. Nor will I ever send her one in the future. I also did not and will not acknowledge Birth Mother's Day. Why should she be honored when she has don nothing to deserve honor?

I also think it is so tacky that Birth Mother's Day is the day before Mother's Day.

Great Week

Last week was a wonderful but busy week. First we had David's b-day, then our 18th wedding anniversary and ended the week with Mother's Day.

For David's b-day we stayed in and invited a co-worker of his for dinner along with his wife Laura and thier son Bo. We had a great time with them. It is too bad that they live in MN and were only in town for the week.

We both took off work on our anniversary. This has been our tradition since our first year of marriage. The day was busy, because for the 1st year ever we had to focus on things other than us on this special day. Madilyn had a doctors appointment and I had to get my tire and rim replaced on my van. So the morning was shot. We ended up having a late breakfast/early lunch and then just going home and vegging out watching a movie. Thankfully we have found a reliable sitter for Madilyn so we were able to leave the kids at home and go to dinner. At dinner we reflected on our early years together and how much we have grown as a couple and a family.

We had a nice Mother's Day. We never go out to eat on this day. The resturants are entirely too crowded. So David grilled up some nice steaks and I baked some potatoes. I would rather spend time in my home than in a loud resturant. It was our first Mother's Day with Madilyn. Last year we had given up hope of having another child and then she came along. I have more to say about this but will save it for another post.